Official Website of the
Catholic Diocese of Little Rock
Jesus Tovar, Blessed Sacrament Church, Jonesboro
Attends the House of Formation in Little Rock
For as long as I can remember I have always loved the priesthood. This love for the priesthood came from the love of the holy Mass, which I have had since childhood, and the connection I had early on between the priesthood and the Mass.
I remember and have been told many stories by my family about how, as a child, I would pretend to be a priest offering Mass and bless my family.
I always considered pursuing other careers like becoming an archeologist, lawyer and most recently a professional musician, but the desire and thought of being a priest persisted longer than anything else.
When my senior year started, I was nervous because everyone started applying to college but I still was not sure what I wanted to do. I decided to go with music. However, I knew I wanted to try seminary because I loved the priesthood and felt the desire to be a priest. I was scared to pursue that calling because I was unsure about everything I was doing in my senior year. I felt I did not know what I wanted while everyone else around me did.
I decided to study music education. I told myself that, if by the time I finished that degree I still wanted to go to seminary, I would go. Still, I daydreamed about being a priest and could not shake the desire and calling to pursue it, but I was scared and nervous about it even to the point of discussing it with someone besides my closest friends.
In April, my confirmation class had a retreat. That day at lunch, I decided to go to Msgr. Scott Friend and ask him a few questions about priests and seminary. Before I could, he sat down at my table for lunch. I was able to muster up the courage and ask a few questions.
I wanted to make it seem like I was just asking questions to know about priesthood, and not because I was considering the priesthood for myself. I believe Msgr. Friend caught on very quickly. He asked me if I was thinking about the priesthood, and I answered yes. From there, I was able to shake off some of the fears I had about seminary and more seriously consider it as something for me.
The biggest reason I want to be a priest is because I want to offer Mass. The Mass is something so beautiful both in its externals and, more importantly, in what is truly happening at Mass. At the Mass, God himself comes down to feed his people. One day, I want to offer the holy sacrifice of the Mass to God, not only for my sake but also on behalf of his whole people. I want to help others love and understand the Mass. I want to bring God to his people and help his people come to him.
I also want to one day help God’s people come back to him through the sacrament of reconciliation. I love confession because in this sacrament not only does God forgive our sins, but he also reconciles us to himself and restores us to friendship with him. I want to help the faithful come back to God through this beautiful sacrament because, despite our failings, God is always waiting with open arms for us to come back to him. Still, confession oftentimes is very scary and intimidating to people but I want to help others through this.
I wish to one day be a priest because I want to help the faithful come to God and know his love. I know what life can be like without God, and so I want to help the faithful find God and come to him. With him, our life is complete. I have found so much meaning and happiness in the faith and want others to experience that same happiness with our Lord. I want to help our Lord to fill his heavenly kingdom with saints to be happy with him for all eternity.
Life at the House of Formation was a true period of growth over the past year. I grew in many dimensions but especially humanly and spiritually. It is truly incredible how the simplest actions like daily Mass and adoration allow us to grow in our union with Christ. This I would say was the biggest thing that took place in my first year. I had the great blessing of deepening my relationship with Christ. Fundamentally this was because of God’s grace through the sacraments and adoration but also through the recitation of the holy rosary and from what I’ve learned from St. Therese’s "Story of a Soul."
I learned about the enormity of God’s love for us and how he deeply desires our love. This can be best summed up in the words of St. Augustine, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” I experienced this firsthand as I witnessed how my own heart consistently longs for God.
This also inspires me in my vocation as I am constantly reminded that one day, God willing, as a priest I will be called to love the people God as Christ himself loves them. This is something I like to keep in mind and I am always asking God to form my heart in the likeness of his sacred heart so that I can one day serve and love his people like him.
One thing that cannot go without mentioning is the importance of the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph in my formation. Both of these great saints have always had a big role in my faith and by staying close to Our Lady and her chaser spouse I have grown so much in the love and service of Christ. I know that they are huge intercessors in my formation and I constantly turn to them in all of my needs.
Finally, I would like to extend my gratitude to everyone who has kept me in their prayers. Please know that your prayers not only mean so much to me and all the other seminarians but also are a huge source of grace for us every single day. Thank you.
