Telling ourselves ‘no’ helps detach from world, embrace discomfort

Published: March 5, 2022

By Katie Karp
Ozark Catholic Academy

Every year as Lent draws closer, Catholics around the world are faced with the same question: “What am I going to give up for Lent?” Due to our fallen nature, many of us likely have the shared feeling of dread when we are asked to sacrifice with consistency. A singular sacrifice, no problem, but the 40 days are daunting.

In more recent years I have encountered more and more people saying that rather than giving something up, they have chosen to take on extra. Extra time volunteering or extra time spent in prayer, etc. Though good and meritorious acts like these can help us grow in holiness, they do not replace the fruits that only sacrifice can bear. Sacrifices, even small ones, promote detachment from worldly things and an embrace of discomfort.

As a season of preparation to celebrate the resurrection of Christ, small sacrifices give us a chance to lift our eyes higher than our engrossing day-to-day tasks and responsibilities. The satisfying comfort we perpetually search for can only be found through Christ, and by giving up something as simple as sweets or that endless scroll through Instagram, we face the discomfort head on and are reminded that we were created for more.

Many saints practiced the art of self-denial, formally known as asceticism. St. Jerome, St. John the Baptist and St. Francis of Assisi all dove head first into worldly discomfort not because they were gluttons for punishment but because it kept them grounded in their goal. They aimed to be motivated by love rather than comfort. These sufferings kept them oriented toward heaven and united them, in little ways, to Christ on the cross. Looking to their example and praying for their intercession during times of abstinence is always helpful.

Lenten abstinence present opportunities to practice telling ourselves “no.” This is a radical notion now, that we would ever wish to deny our own desires. The modern culture of self-care encourages what is more realistically self-indulgence: “Take that expensive vacation, you deserve it!” “Eat that cake!” “Buy the car, it’ll make you happy!” These sentiments have far less to do with caring for oneself than they do with indulging in every whim that glimmers with the false promise of happiness.

We are corporal beings, and these desires can be hard to ignore which is why it takes practice. Lent allows us to practice overriding those urges (like putting off menial chores and watching Netflix for a few hours instead). This strength of will is critically important when we are faced with temptation. This same ability to tell ourselves no, utilized in abstaining from Diet Coke, is the same will that is going to have to supersede your inclination to sin. Like a muscle, the will either gets stronger with practice or it will atrophy from disuse.

By far, the most beautiful result that comes from denying our own wants is an openness to God’s will. If our primary motivation is to satisfy our own desires, there is far less priority placed on what God wills for us. Truly, if God is omniscient, omnipotent, benevolent — wouldn’t he know what would most completely fulfill us? Yet our pursuit of tangible and immediate satisfaction so often prevents us from being open to what God’s will might be. Through small surrenders of will, we slowly learn how to let go of what we want in the moment; when we aren’t caught up in what we think we need, we become docile to accepting a divine and providential plan already set out for us.

Katie Karp holds a master’s degree in education from Franciscan University of Steubenville and a bachelor’s degree in English from the University of Central Arkansas. She currently teaches Humane Letters and theology at Ozark Catholic Academy in Tontitown.

This article was originally published in Arkansas Catholic March 5, 2022. Copyright Diocese of Little Rock. All rights reserved. This article may be copied or redistributed with acknowledgement and permission of the publisher.