Self-sufficient attitude in our spiritual life locks God outside

Published: May 11, 2019

By Sister Mary Clare Bezner, OSB
Minister for Religious

For a large number of us, there is a basic, deep-down, hidden lack of trust in God’s love and care for us. We can’t see that he is the light and that he illuminates us and provides for us, and that having him is enough. Part of our inability to understand and know God’s desire to care for and love us comes from the society we live in.

In our culture, most of us are raised to believe that the ultimate sign of being a good American is self-sufficiency. We might depend on others to a point but as the saying goes, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Or perhaps you were told, “buck up buttercup — things won’t fix themselves.” Even loving parents raise their children to attain self-sufficiency by their 20s. This is normal, and in all reality, something that God wants, but the term “self-sufficiency” causes problems when applied to the spiritual life.

Growing in independence is an important phase of our adult lives. But we often don’t understand that we are supposed to maintain dependence — dependence on God. He wants us to voluntarily entrust our lives to him. Father Eugene Boylan, OCSO, said, “Self-sufficiency shuts the door on all God’s advances. He stands at the gate and knocks, and the self-sufficient will not open to him. … Love wants to give, divine love most of all; but nothing can be given to the self-sufficient.”

When we are spiritually self-sufficient, we are refusing to be open to God. Imagine a picture of Jesus standing outside a door knocking, but there is no door knob. You are in the inside working away but won’t open the door to him because you want to do things yourself.

When we are dependent on God, in a loving and trusting way, we are living our lives in a way that allows him to guide us. Divine dependency doesn’t take away anything from who we are but instead frees us to find out who we really are, who we were made to be. The divine Teacher, our Creator, can show us and develop in us all the skills and talents he has given us. He won’t force us to give our lives over to him, but when we do, he can show us what real love looks like.

Can you imagine getting to a place where you are so completely dependent on God that you don’t have anxiety or worry anymore? All of us can grow in our dependence on God. Jesus is the example we have been given to follow. He lived his life on earth with his own free will and freely chose to be dependent on the Father. He came to us to do the Father’s will out of love for the Father and, in turn, out of love for us. The way he did everything in obedience to the Father shows us how we can live.

Take time to meditate on ways that you might need to be more dependent on God. Consider praying with 2 Corinthians 12:8-9: “Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Sister Mary Clare Bezner, an Olivetan Benedictine sister from Holy Angels Convent in Jonesboro, is the minister for religious for the Diocese of Little Rock. This article was originally published in Arkansas Catholic May 11, 2019. Copyright Diocese of Little Rock. All rights reserved. This article may be copied or redistributed with acknowledgement and permission of the publisher.